Happy Birthday Northern Rockies View! :~(?

Your Author (JDPF-henceforth referred to as such.) – Wow! What a great year it’s been here on Northern Rockies View!

His Audience (such as there is one, subsequently referred to as H.A.) – Huh? What’ve you been smoking?

JDPF – I’m just saying that’s its been a memorable first year on NorthernRockiesView.com–lots of hard-hitting music reviews, some Casey Anthony comedy, some ski memories, the vert records, etc.  I could go on and on.

H.A. – Please don’t.

JDPF. – At the conclusion of that first year, I feel obligated to see where I’m at and assess how far I’ve come.  Basically, I can see where I started from, just right back there. 24 articles, 12 months.

H.A. – What? How much? Ah, who cares?

JDPF -On the whole, I’d say that its been nothing short of mediocre.  More like full-scale mediocre, or maybe enhanced mediocre.  Its been everything but a game-changer. But it’s been fun. And therapeutic.

H.A – Your such a narcissist.

JDPF – I invented it.  And on top of that, I’m here slugging it out–writing 1-2 articles a month, trying to please my indifferent audience.  Can I call you guys that?

H.A – Would you stop already?  Indifferent doesn’t quite cover it.  Outright disdain is a little closer to the truth.

JDPF – With the underwhelming success of year 1, I’m somewhat south of optimistic for year two’s prospects.  But, you never know.   All this lightning in a bottle–comin’ at you for nothing.  You never know when something might explode.

H.A. – We’ve asked you nicely to stop.  Don’t make us get the chloroform and duct tape. We’ve got a box full of trash bags from Costco too.

JDPF – I’d bet that you guys might be interested in reading more here, if you’d just give it a chance.  That’s all I’m saying.

H.A – Been there, done that — Now we’re blocking the memories involuntarily.

JDPF- Friends don’t ask friends to subscribe to things.  At least real friends don’t. Hence, I haven’t asked anyone to subscribe to the blog.  I figured I’d just let nature take it’s course and see what the market said about the blog.  It did.  I have three subscribers. Those are the three people who get total VIP treatment on Northern Rockies View; I won’t name them, to save them the embarrassment.  It’s bad enough that they already get emails automatically sent to them whenever I post an article.  So, they get first crack at my less than brilliant, socially indefensible, feeble attempts at humor and observation.  Or worse, my music reviews.

H.A. – If you don’t stop, I’m going to puke.

JDPF – I’ve just looked at the stats….and, while I won’t use the word viral, I will say that this blog is almost off the charts–at the bottom end.  Just look at the numbers. 1,989 total visitors, 62 visitors on the biggest single day.  And three subscribers, in 12 months, that’s one every four months.  On that pace, I’ll have 15 subscribers by 2015.  That’s got a nice ring to it…..and it’s five times closer to viral.

On the plus side–seriously even, the most viewed articles were my Memorial Tributes. By a long way. It seems clear that folks are drawn to articles about other folks—especially those whom we held most dear.  Even I can write something relevant when remembering worthy people.

If I follow conventional blog-wisdom, I probably should write some more Tribute articles. Give the audience more of what they’re drawn to.  Build some more market share–some more audience.  Maybe I can get another 3 or more subscribers.   I don’t know.  I don’t want to overstate or overestimate my potential.

H.A. – 0x0=0……You can move the numbers around all you want, but they’re still all zeros.

JDPF – I think I’d rather do more comedy and music reviews.  Keep the bar low.   So, low that even I have trouble maintaining the standard.  My own version of the American Dream. Its all skiing, baseball, video games, and mostly crappy articles.  But hey, even the worst hitting pitchers get an occasional hit once in a while though (in the National League). On rare occasions, an article of consequence might even sneak through.

H.A. – Don’t count on it.

JDPF – In any event, at least no one can say that my fantasy teams aren’t competitive.

H.A. – Oh, here we go…

JDPF – If nothing else, I can see the eventual epitaph:

Here Lies Jay Foster – His Fantasy Teams Were Bad-A$$

From the Hotness League to the High Ankle Sprain League, the Northern Rockies kicked Fantasy butt!

Your Author’s Perceived Audience – That Northern Rockies guy was on it.  From draft day to game day, to free-agent acquisitions, his teams were always competitive.  Yeah, but didn’t he have that crappy blog?

H.A. – Are you still droning about that lame blog?  Thats even worse than your fantasy delusions.

JDPF – Hey, I’m the reigning Vert Champ! I skied more than anybody last season.

H.A – We’ve already plowed enough of Narcissus’s garden. Give it a rest already. You’re like the dude from High School, “man, you remember when I had 14 tackles in the second half against Holland Hall?”

JDPF – That’s never been me.  I’m still living in the present–winning Vert Titles, writing redeeming articles (occasionally) and living the dream.

H.A. – More like nightmare.

JDPF – My record speaks for itself.  If you don’t like it, you can go back to your smart phone.

H.A – Did you say something? I’m playing scrabble on my i-Phone.

JDPF – With my credentials, I need to do my part for the future of mankind.  Sign me up for cryogenics at that place that Ted Williams is at.  When science discovers the keys to eternal life and youth, they’ll go looking for a smart (-ass), competent fantasy-manager, with video-game skills and pop-culture knowledge (specializing in the 70s-00s music and movies), to replenish the planet from.  I’m the obvious choice.  I’ll be their guy. Somebody’s got to pitch to the revived Ted Williams.  Right?  I’ll even go out on an audacious limb and say that I’ll strike him out too. Assuming the cryogenics works like it’s advertised.  I can’t be responsible, if any substandard regeneration occurs. I’m certain Ted and I will both agree on that point.

H.A. – We aren’t going to let this happen.  There will be no cryogenics–although you did use the right prefix—just add -emation to the cr-part.

JDPF – What was that? A “No Blog” clause in my regeneration contract?  I’ve done enough already?  You can’t do this to me!

I have a right to write….whether you read it or not….in this body and the next.

H.A. – You have NO right to impose this drivel on anyone–much less the friends and family who are inescapably tethered to you.

JDPF – There are people tethered to me?

H.A. – zzzzzzzzzzzzzz – crickets, crickets zzzzzzzzzzzzz

JDPF- I rest my case.

H.A. – We wish you would.  Seriously!

JDPF – Bring on Year Two at NorthernRockiesView–I’ve got tons of material at the ready. Now that you mentioned it, I do remember a game against Holland Hall—I gave up 3 HRs and a Double (off the wall) to one guy (Tim Wofford).  But that was just the set up–the next time out against them, I struck him out in his first at bat—and he squared around to bunt in his second AB.  In the intervening time, I had learned a change-up.

We live, we learn, we evolve, we improve.   No matter how small the stakes.

That’s what I’ll do with year two on NorthernRockiesView–whether anyone reads it or not. Give the masses what they’re NOT looking for–when they least expect it.  They’ll never see it coming.  Now that’s alternative entertainment.  Or is it an alternative to entertainment?

H.A. – It is definitely NOT entertainment…so you got that right.  Congratulations.

JDPF – How bout this for a Year Two Headline?  “Apathy vs Indifference–The Rematch–only at NorthernRockiesView.com” — Which side will you choose?

The Visualized Future Audience – Have you seen that sh*t coming out of Northernrockiewview.com?  That Northern Rockies guy is on it; he gives you analysis you can’t get anywhere else…..and he’s just giving it way.

His Current Audience with the last word – Well, there’s five minutes I can’t have back.

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